Monday, July 18, 2011

...Such A Liar...

So many times I have recently read about the Power of Keeping Silent...
I write every single day, several pages and I keep them piling up with my rantings and ravings and plans. I find so much peace there on the page. This morning in particular I remembered that I said today is "Monday Musings" day...and it keeps me on track to check in with my friends who are reading along with me. I am grateful for that, and I feel thankful to have this place to do so.

I have been changing a lot of things...and the people around me are rapidly changing as well. I woke up this morning feeling completely disheveled and displaced. I had to keep asking myself WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! Pulling out my paper and pen, I found out that answer and several more. I started a new painting and a pencil drawing. I reminded myself of the powerful thoughts and quotes around me. I told myself that I am most definitely not the only one with that same question and I am also one that will do the hard work to make sure I do what I love to do without being attached to the outcome.

I made sure that I spaced out my time so that everyone had the attention they needed. I wondered about how I felt about always being so busy and then reminded myself that this is all there is...I am thankful for the people around me. I appreciate that my children are separate people from me and that they evolve as their own separate beings who are grateful to be treated as such. They are so different from me. I do not own them. I am here to keep them safe and happy and its a lot of work. I am not complaining. It is because of them that I chose to squeeze in the paintings and writings and drawings...this shows them that I, too, have my own life and things that I am interested in doing. It teaches them that is it important to be able to do things for yourself that you love to do, and that there is nothing wrong with it.

I also thought about what a liar I can be, to myself. How I plan and project and scatter things around already knowing that it is a recipe for disaster. Hi, my name is Carole and I am a master multi-tasker. I must surrender this because it causes my ADD to go into over drive and at the end of the day I have five projects that will never be finished. This too is hard work. These past few weeks I have been talking to myself...ALOT...and lying about not wanting to be engaged in so many projects. I MUST crop off somewhere. I will continue to work on this...the deep breathing and studying yoga/meditation is definitely an asset at this point!
I have also been involved with some unresolved emotions and so I do not like to write, or even talk sometimes when this is going on. I would rather "be silent" than to spread heavy or negative stuff I hope that as soon as my capsized ship of sharing rights itself, I will be writing more often.

Thank you as always for reading!
Until Next Time ~

Monday, July 11, 2011

...Breathe In...Breathe Out...{Moonstone Parchments}


..haven't forgotten that I said I would write regularly...and have been writing my 4 + journal pages a day...been watching my thoughts and my breath and my yoga practice...been observing the way that writing is pure magic and the way that deep breathing is a powerful and transforming act of affirmation and clarity...been submitting something new or updated to my site every Sunday and now ready to add on another weekly Submission - "Monday Musings" - starting today...

Many things are changing for me, as I write the blueprints of my life, deep breathing and learning about the chakra energy centers are on the top of my list, with meditation and holistic methods of dealing with an enormous amount of "things" going on...without these, without writing, I would be the same as I always have been - spewing out obscenities about not having time, not having energy, not having...not having what?
Derailing those thoughts, those "things" becomes a daily striving to become More Than This...seeing how far I can push myself into a positive, flowing, creative and constructive river of going with The Flow..."Monday Musings" will reflect this progress and as I got carried away with "Change" over the past two weeks - it feels like much longer...

So today marks another positive insertion of what I want to be a permanent and accountable part of what I endeavor to do. Last night I submitted "Moonstone" to my collection of Parchment Art works...and you can see many more on my site if you are interested.
For now, I am finishing up a cycle that has run far too long and am preparing to blast off into a new series of Much Overdue.

Talk to you again soon
Until Then

My site with my art and more

And here is my "Moonstone"

Do not walk behind me; I may not lead.
Do not walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Walk beside me, that we may be as One.
Ute philosophy

Friday, July 1, 2011

...Shadows Short and Tall...


New Moon

In the span of a day the scope of reality can change so much that the shifts of light that used to be are no longer bright but pass and leave their shadows long against the dusk of the day. Music strummed from the pavilion of the beach echoes into the corridors of my memory and Mermaids surface in the sea far beyond the shore. They are calling me {yes, they are real in my mind, my writer's imagination lives there on the East Coast with them} and they are whispering on the winds that carry over the water to meet my open mind.

The power of the things I have been writing is coming to pass. The more I see walk towards me "in the flesh" of my reality the more I know how important it is for me to write out the "blueprints" and be sure that I take out the negative stuff, and replace it with neutral or positive substitutions. I see the forms come from the mist of my mind and what will truly make me happy is always fighting to be recognized and honored.

Although I am currently exhausted with issues and neurosis of the lives that intersect with mine, I have taken this responsibility to be responsible for them, for helping them and for honoring myself enough that I am responsible for how I feel, or am going to feel, as well. If what I am doing, no matter what that may be, feels wrong, draining or otherwise detrimental to my health - if any of this occurs for too long the exhaustion sets in and I will literally crawl out of my skin.

Being a "Scorpio" I pay attention to cycles of Life, Death and Rebirth quite closely. I have been learning how to be comfortable with the three phases and all astrological association aside, as human beings we all want to understand the processes of these three phases. The very moon in the sky shows us the nature of the turning from full to dark to being the New Moon...what exactly does that mean? To be simple - just the start of another cycle.


"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are, for what you could become." ~ Unknown

Until Next Time

Do not walk behind me; I may not lead.
Do not walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Walk beside me, that we may be as One.
Ute philosophy

About Me

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Fairfield, CT, United States
Originally this blog was created to house the writings for The Red Queen. She is the Muse that inspires this Author and Artist and is the insidious channel that opens to admonish all doubt and fear. She allows what needs to be, TO BE. Carole Anzolletti is the Author and Illustrator of "Whispers of the Goddess" Poetry and Prose and is currently working on a body of writing called "The Forest Labyrinth." She has also been known as "Lady Pegasus" and formerly had the domain until 2009 when she changed it to She is a seller of art and craft and has sold her work all over the world. Currently her eBay id is: art_by_carole_anzolletti